Just an FYI. By the way, the image above is an ad for WrestleMania VI, a place I think we can all agree had its share of anabolic steroid use. Over 1/3 of the competitors are now dead, all of them prematurely.
There is no cheatin' spoon. There's only the big spoon and the little spoon, and your size ain't nothin' but a number:
1. “I love being big spoon but he’s so big I feel like a sloth just hanging onto a branch.”
2. “I’m always the big spoon! Because of the height difference, it makes me feel like I’m a rocket pack!”
3. “I feel like a koala when big spooning my boyfriend because he’s way taller.”
4. “I say if you think you’re going to sleep facing away from me you best be prepared for a koala on your back through the night.”
5. “My boyfriend is almost always the big spoon, although sometimes in the middle of the night I roll over to him and am his ‘jetpack.’ I love being the little spoon but it makes me anxious because sometimes I fart on him when I fall asleep.”
Bonus: “I prefer to lie face down and have my partner lie flat directly on top of me. The weight is so calming and eases my anxiety. Not spooning per se…maybe spatula-ing?”
How long until they have these in fast food places, too? Even Sonic has started modifying their kiosks to be more interactive. Big potential public health downside: More desserts ordered. Like 30% more.